Also, I want to thank everybody who has asked! I really appreciate it.
[If you're not interested in the whole story (which is really the only way that you can get the whole effect) skip down to where it says "Sunday February 9th"]
Well, the story roots in my controlling nature. Much to my dismay, I have the need to control time, and how it is used. Everything has a time and a place, and it should be known. I had planted the idea of getting engaged over winter break so deeply in to my being that there was truly no room for any type of surprise.
All over winter break I had wished that I never brought it up in the first place, considering it could only be my fault if the proposal sucked. I made it ever more difficult by telling Jack that it couldn't happen on a holiday. Yeah, the days it could happen were totally limited.
I went to New York City with my family at the end of December, and prior to leaving I told Jack that it'd be the best time to go look for rings, yes I really do try to control time that much. It is a problem, but that is beside this post.
When I returned from New York City we were talking and it had come up that he really didn't have enough money for the ring saved up yet, and he wanted to continue saving because I did not deserve a cheap ring.
Yes, I was bummed, but I understood his reasoning. I wasn't upset or mad at him, but more at myself for putting such a time frame on something that really , I shouldn't have much of a say in at all.
The reason this was really bumming was because once break ended and he went back to school, baseball season started, which means no time for work, which means no money to be saved, which ultimately leads to no ring until the summer.
The engagement idea was pushed to the side. I wasn't going to think of it again until summer when the saving could continue, I told myself.
Semester starts...
A normal month goes by...
Tuesday February 4th: Jack keeps saying what a great day it is. Of course I ask why to share in his enjoyment but he just keeps saying that it just is!
it ended up being such a great day because the ring has gotten delivered!
Thursday February 6th: Jack makes mention that this up coming Monday is our "three in a half year anniversary," which was odd of him just because it's not like we were going to be together, or have ever really made mention of it. He kept saying that it was just "kinda special". I went with it, why not.
Saturday February 8th: Jack's home for a normal weekend visit.
Sunday February 9th: Baseball is every weekday morning at 5am, so typically Jack will leave Canfield at like 10 and head back to school. He insisted on staying that night, and would just leave the next morning at 3:30am because he really wanted to at least say goodbye to me on the 10th (remember, this is our anniversary date) . Confused I said okay, if that's what he really wanted, but he really didn't have to. At 10:00pm he said he was ready to go to bed and kicked me out of the room he sleeps in. I informed him that I'd be asleep on the couch and to just wake me up before he leaves. He asked if I'd be mad when he woke me up and I said, "No, I'm just happy you're staying".
At 11:58 I get woken up. Confused I asked if he was leaving and what the time was. He said he wasn't leaving yet but he wanted me to come outside with him.
Monday February 10th: Throwing on a hoodie and warm sweats I followed him outside. While going out I noticed a note in his hand (he always writes notes to me for special occasions). I go to grab it, and he says not yet. We go outside and Jack tells me that he wants to read me the note this time, for something special. At this point I was starting to think that, "maybe tonight is the night," but I had this thought many times before, so I pushed it away not wanting to ruin what was happening with these thoughts. As we stood under the stars, with a blanket of snow around us he read me the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. I cannot really express all that it said, because it is much to personal and deep. To explain the moment in words is really not possible. Bringing tears to my eyes Jack ended the note with "I love you so much Liv..." *gets down on one knee* "will you marry me?"
The moment was so idyllic I hope that the only way it can ever be expressed is through personal experience. In a way, I didn't want to tell anybody at first because it was so peaceful, it was just us in the midst of all the craziness of life. If we never moved from where we were I would have been content.
What made it so perfect was that it was just us. I have a hard time not relating this to the love that Christ has for us. How much he desires to be alone with us, and for us to share His love with the world. As a couple we are called to be an example of how Christ loves the church. Jack did a great job of representing how much Christ loves His bride in the completeness of the moment.
This is from the night of. None of the pictures that we took are what would be considered "good looking" but it just adds to the simplicity and perfection of the moment.
I'm really not sure if I articulated the accuracy of events in a way that is understandable to somebody who does not know Jack and myself well. The note, that I have no intention of ever sharing with anybody, is what made these moments so perfect.
One last note, I'm not putting any pictures of just the ring online because well, I guess I don't really have a reason other than it's mine, and not something that I want displayed all over the internet.
