The Engagement Story

So, so SO many people are asking me about the story (95% girls/women)  and I truly feel bad not telling the whole story because it does not play the moment enough respect!

Also, I want to thank everybody who has asked! I really appreciate it.

[If you're not interested in the whole story (which is really the only way that you can get the whole effect) skip down to where it says "Sunday February 9th"]

Well, the story roots in my controlling nature.  Much to my dismay, I have the need to control time, and how it is used.  Everything has a time and a place, and it should be known.  I had planted the idea of getting engaged over winter break so deeply in to my being that there was truly no room for any type of surprise.

All over winter break I had wished that I never brought it up in the first place, considering it could only be my fault if the proposal sucked.  I made it ever more difficult by telling Jack that it couldn't happen on a holiday.  Yeah, the days it could happen were totally limited.

I went to New York City with my family at the end of December, and prior to leaving I told Jack that it'd be the best time to go look for rings, yes I really do try to control time that much.  It is a problem, but that is beside this post.

When I returned from New York City we were talking and it had come up that he really didn't have enough money for the ring saved up yet, and he wanted to continue saving because I did not deserve a cheap ring.

Yes, I was bummed, but I understood his reasoning.  I wasn't upset or mad at him, but more at myself for putting such a time frame on something that really , I shouldn't have much of a say in at all.

The reason this was really bumming was because once break ended and he went back to school, baseball season started, which means no time for work, which means no money to be saved, which ultimately leads to no ring until the summer.

The engagement idea was pushed to the side.  I wasn't going to think of it again until summer when the saving could continue, I told myself.

Semester starts...
A normal month goes by...

Tuesday February 4th: Jack keeps saying what a great day it is. Of course I ask why to share in his enjoyment but he just keeps saying that it just is!

it ended up being such a great day because the ring has gotten delivered!

Thursday February 6th: Jack makes mention that this up coming Monday is our "three in a half year anniversary," which was odd of him just because it's not like we were going to be together, or have ever really made mention of it.  He kept saying that it was just "kinda special".  I went with it, why not.

Saturday February 8th: Jack's home for a normal weekend visit.

Sunday February 9th: Baseball is every weekday morning at 5am, so typically Jack will leave Canfield at like 10 and head back to school.  He insisted on staying that night, and would just leave the next morning at 3:30am because he really wanted to at least say goodbye to me on the 10th (remember, this is our anniversary date) .  Confused I said okay, if that's what he really wanted, but he really didn't have to.  At 10:00pm he said he was ready to go to bed and kicked me out of the room he sleeps in.  I informed him that I'd be asleep on the couch and to just wake me up before he leaves.  He asked if I'd be mad when he woke me up and I said, "No, I'm just happy you're staying".

At 11:58 I get woken up.  Confused I asked if he was leaving and what the time was.  He said he wasn't leaving yet but he wanted me to come outside with him.

Monday February 10th: Throwing on a hoodie and warm sweats I followed him outside.  While going out I noticed a note in his hand (he always writes notes to me for special occasions). I go to grab it, and he says not yet. We go outside and Jack tells me that he wants to read me the note this time, for something special.  At this point I was starting to think that, "maybe tonight is the night," but I had this thought many times before, so I pushed it away not wanting to ruin what was happening with these thoughts.  As we stood under the stars, with a blanket of snow around us he read me the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.  I cannot really express all that it said, because it is much to personal and deep. To explain the moment in words is really not possible.  Bringing tears to my eyes Jack ended the note with "I love you so much Liv..." *gets down on one knee* "will you marry me?"

The moment was so idyllic I hope that the only way it can ever be expressed is through personal experience.  In a way, I didn't want to tell anybody at first because it was so peaceful, it was just us in the midst of all the craziness of life.  If we never moved from where we were I would have been content.

What made it so perfect was that it was just us.  I have a hard time not relating this to the love that Christ has for us.  How much he desires to be alone with us, and for us to share His love with the world.  As a couple we are called to be an example of how Christ loves the church.  Jack did a great job of representing how much Christ loves His bride in the completeness of the moment.

This is from the night of. None of the pictures that we took are what would be considered "good looking" but it just adds to the simplicity and perfection of the moment.

I'm really not sure if I articulated the accuracy of events in a way that is understandable to somebody who does not know Jack and myself well.  The note, that I have no intention of ever sharing with anybody, is what made these moments so perfect.  


One last note, I'm not putting any pictures of just the ring online because well, I guess I don't really have a reason other than it's mine, and not something that I want displayed all over the internet.  

To the Teachers Who Inspired Me

To you.  I know that you three will never read this, but it's to you.

As stated before, Math and Science did not come easily to me.  History was iffy also.  Of the top three teachers that made an impact in my life in Canfield Schools I can honestly say that they were in the following classes:

Eight Grade American History

Anatomy and Physiology

Statistics

The teachers in this class made it appropriately challenging.  They taught me that I could do it. They weren't the teachers that let me go to the computer lab and jack around, and inspiration and belief did not happen in "blow off classes".

Anatomy and Physiology along with Statistics are considered more advanced, so I'm not quiet sure how I got put in the position of being in those classes to begin with.  The teachers not only taught me that I could excel in these topics but that I could enjoy them. I always excelled in linguistically based things , but that didn't mean I actually enjoyed them.  

Not all science was questions based around what rocks look like, and not all math was inapplicable to everyday life.  

I never thought I could do math or science until I got to these classes.  The fundamentals of these classes taught me that I have to learn, and master, the basics of these things to fully understand the things that I actually like to study.  

I hope that I can be a teacher that teaches kids that there is more to learning than the tests, its more about finding what interests you, and how to you can love to learn.  

I want to equip them to handle the hard things in life with confidence.  Knowing that there is something better on the other side.


After comparing teachers in my life this quote comes to mind: 

"If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself."

-Confucius 

"...but be transformed by the renewing of your mind"

Look at my report card starting in about forth grade and you will see nothing short of A's in English (and like subjects) and B's and C's in math and science.  So how in the world am I in the position that I am in college to teach high school science?!

I remember being in elementary school and having to go to a special tutor during free time to help me with simple multiplication problems.  "8 and 8 went in to a store to buy a Nintendo sixty-four..." and other like rhymes helped me fumble my way through elementary math lessons.  So again, how in the world am I now going to college to be a science teacher?

+++ I should probably mention that since math and science go together hand and hand I have to take through Calculus two.  +++

My high school math classes consisted of slowed down versions of the "real math classes" until my senior year.  I relied heavily on "homework" and "participation" points to get me through.

Hopefully, my lack of natural mathematical skills is showing through.  I wish I could be somebody that just "gets it" in the way that I "just get" reading and english, but I'm not.  It's somewhat comical to think about...the subjects that I'm best in do not interest me one bit anymore, but that that I struggle with draws me in.

Entering college I was unsure of what I wanted to do with my future degree in "exercise science".  All I knew is that I wanted to learn about the human body, and apply it in someway that involved no medicine. The revelation of being a teacher really happened in a single moment of conversation.

Suddenly, the undying want to teach flooded through my being.  There was few minor problems standing it the way....Calc,Calc 2,Physics 2, Organic Chemistry and so on and so forth.  How is it that the only thing I want to do with my life is something that I would have counted as impossible merely a few months ago ?  If you compare the "Integrated Science Secondary Education focus in Biology" list of requirements and classes with that of "Pre-med" at YSU there is very few differences.  I've never exactly reminded myself of somebody who would ever go that direction.

That direction was meant for the elite...it's meant for the ones who, "just get it".  A troubling thought is that because I am not one who "just gets it," will I be cutting the young adults I will be teaching short of his or her education?  Well, I can't answer that quiet yet.

The most interesting part is this: The subjects that I was most interested in and excelled in growing up really do not interest me much anymore, as I said earlier, they actually bore me.  Without a shadow of a doubt I think that Romans 12:2, "Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is--his good, pleasing and perfect will," does apply to me in a very specific way.  How else would my mind have been renewed and practically altered?  

To help those who don't "just get it".  That is the reigning anthem in my mind.

Every aspect of my math and science career has lead me up to this point.  The point of knowing that countless hours are going to need to be spent learning and absorbing information that I naturally don't understand, but I find myself highly interested in.

I really can't wait to take Physics.

So, here's to the kids who "don't just get it."  Let me promise you, if you trust in God, He will guide you.  I cannot type this and say, "math comes so easily to me now," because it doesn't.  Like many good things in life, it comes with time and hard work.

Although it's not what I was striving for this was my first semester GPA. Needless to say, only by God was I able to understand some of the math and chemistry involved in some of my classes. Only my trust in Him will guide me. 

Why I'm doing this...

There is so much going on in life, but I've been told that that is how it goes the older you get.  

I'm intending on using this to share what is going on in my life .  I've seen people start and stop these, but even if I can encourage or spark interest in one person for one day it'll be enough.  

The audience I want to hit the most is those who I don't seem to talk to enough, not so they can marvel at my life, but so that he or she can gain a better understanding of the world around them as looked at through a different person's perspective.  

Also, and probably more dominantly,  for my own memory's sake.  I try to keep a journal, but that typically fades quickly out of laziness and often enough busyness.  

A good writer is something I am far from, in fact, the older I get and deeper in to the education system I bury myself in, the less interested in writing I've gotten. So my lack of crafty words and unique phrases might be prevalent.  To bore you is not my goal, but as I stated previously....this is also in part for myself.

Typically speaking, I stand pretty neutral on the idea of a blog. Heck,everybody blogs now-a-days!
              Worth a shot!